When toddlers experience big emotions, they often need help learning how to calm themselves down. Self-soothing is an essential skill for their emotional development as it builds the foundation for managing stress and emotions as they grow. Below, we’ll walk through a few common self-soothing strategies for toddlers that parents can introduce to begin working on these fundamental skills in a healthy, positive way.
Redirect Energy With Distraction Techniques
Distraction is a powerful tool for calming toddlers during moments of distress. Offering their favorite toy or a cherished book can redirect their energy and shift their attention away from what upset them.
For example, interactive games or sensory toys like squishy balls can engage their hands and minds, giving them another task to focus on. Even pointing out something interesting and surprising, such as a bird outside or colorful pictures on the wall, diffuses a meltdown quickly.
Comfort Items and Their Magic
Many toddlers form a strong bond with comfort items like specific blankets or stuffed animals. These objects provide a sense of security, especially during times of change or stress. The familiar texture, scent, or presence of these items can have a calming effect on toddlers, making them feel safe and grounded.
Parents often pair comfort items with bedtime routines to help toddlers soothe themselves to sleep. Including a comfort item in outings can also minimize anxiety in new environments.
Teach Relaxation Through Breathing Techniques
Simple breathing strategies are highly effective in calming a toddler’s mind and body. Parents can introduce easy exercises like “smell the flower, blow out the candle,” where the toddler pretends to take a deep breath in—as if sniffing a flower—and then exhale—as if blowing out a candle.
Another method is guiding toddlers to imagine something soothing, such as a warm bubble bath or a sunny day at the park. While it requires patience, teaching these techniques early equips toddlers with lifelong tools for managing stress.
Encourage Positive Behaviors With Rewards
Toddlers thrive on praise and recognition. By celebrating their efforts to self-soothe, parents will reinforce these good habits. For instance, when a child successfully calms down using a technique like deep breathing, acknowledging their effort with verbal praise—such as, “Great job breathing like we practiced!”—creates positive reinforcement. Small rewards like stickers or extra story time can also encourage them to continue improving their self-soothing skills.
The Role of Parents in Building Calmness
Parents play an instrumental role in helping toddlers learn self-soothing techniques by modeling the right behaviors. Toddlers often mirror adults’ actions, so staying calm during stressful situations can demonstrate the importance of maintaining composure.
Parents can also participate alongside their child, like practicing breathing exercises together, or introducing thumb-sucking remedies that actually work to eliminate disruptive habits. This cooperative approach teaches toddlers valuable calming mechanisms and strengthens the bond between parent and child.
Helping toddlers develop self-soothing skills is not an overnight process, but consistency and patience make all the difference in their ability to cope in the future. By offering a mix of distraction techniques, introducing comfort items, practicing relaxation together, praising their efforts, and guiding them with care, parents can raise emotionally resilient children. Implement one of these self-soothing strategies with your toddler and begin transforming their emotional skill set.
