Accepting your Positive Self During Your Darkest Times

By Marc Lerner

Your Positive Self-image plays a significant role in how you relate to your challenges. Accepting your Positive Self-image allows you to think more creatively, express your heart more truly, breathe consciously and watch your inner wisdom as it performs its magic.

Think of a challenge that you have to face. Follow The Positive Self-image Technique as described and you will create a habit to meet your challenge with the best parts of you.

The Positive Self Exercise

Record the answers to these questions with candid first impressions.

Step One: Think of a goal, one that you can really put your heart into. Let that goal slip into the back­ground and this technique will show you what part of you has that goal– your Positive or your Negative Self.

Step Two: First, connect to the negative part of you. This is the self-image created by your past conditioning. Think of the worst personal experience you can remember, for that experience helps you connect to your Negative Self. Capture that negative experience in a word or a phrase and record it.


Step Three: Describe in two ways how you feel when you experience this negative feeling.

1_______________________________ 2_______________________________

Step Four: Think of all these words or phrases and put them together to give a creative nickname to your Negative Self. What would you call that character?

Now, create your Positive Self, the part of you that was created from times when you were connected to and manifested your powerful inner resources.

Step one: Recall the best moment you have had and capture that experience in a word or a phrase


Step two: Think of two ways this experience makes you feel and express those feelings in a word or a phrase. 1________________________2________________________

            Step three: Give a creative nickname to your Positive Self; what would you call that character?

Step four: State the name of your Positive Self in an “I Am” statement.

I am _____________________ (use your Positive Self’s nickname)

Step five: While saying the “I Am” statement, imagine your Positive Self. Then breathe into your Positive Self as if your breath gives it life and let images bubble up in your mind of times that you expressed  your Positive Self. This is an important habit to develop, for it becomes a shortcut to connect to the Wis­dom of your Body.

Jack, a cancer patient, tried the Positive Self Exercise in a Life Skills seminar I con­ducted. Jack named his Negative Self “Indifferent” and his Positive Self “Joy.”    Jack realized that when “Indifferent” interpreted his life, he got uncaring answers. When “Joy” interpreted his life, he got the responses that came from the part of him that had a real, loving spirit and a strong will to live. By connecting to his Positive Self, he turned a depressing time into an opportunity to realize the power and beauty of “Joy.” He had a choice; what part of him was going to deal with his challenge?

Being able to articulate both the Positive and Negative Self, Jack was able to have “Joy” be kind and loving to “Indifferent.” This allowed him to confidently deal with his challenge from the perspective of his Positive Self. This didn’t cure his disease, but it allowed him to go through his struggle without defeating himself.

When Bob had to share the bad news with his family and friends, “Joy” was much better at giving a conscious statement for his life. “Joy” kept him connected to his heart, creativity and doing that while being in the moment.

Marc Lerner is President of Life Skills Institute, where he worked with the chronically ill & disabled community for 25 years.  Being an MS patient since 1981, he knows the challenge of dealing with something you cannot control. His work empowers people to connect to inner resources so they become an active partner with their doctors. He gives tele-seminars to develop the needed life skills and he wrote an e-book called “A Healthy Way to Be Sick”: Go and search for Marc Lerner or A Healthy Way to Be Sick. Go to to listen to archived radio shows on A Healthy Way to be Sick. Marc is a public speaker that can adapt his Life Skill techniques to meet any challenge. Marc has expert author status on, with over 80 articles posted on health and fitness. Go to:

© 2011 Marc Lerner and Life Skills Institute

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